Continuous Motion

I come from a big family, and we traveled a pretty impressive amount for our large numbers. When I was little, we owned a Volkswagen bus that my dad had taken the benches, rotated them 90 degrees and bolted back so they lined the sides and faced each other. The VW symbol was flipped upside down.

We went to the Outer Banks in North Carolina frequently and once a year did a trip to Florida, typically to Disney World. Once the first minivan came out, our trips got upgraded and we hit the Florida Keys and did ski trips. I also got to ride the train and do at least an annual trip to Washington DC or New York City. This sense of wanderlust was ingrained in me early. I remember one thing that I really loved the most was when we’d travel far enough that the weather shifted or that the trees/scenario changed.  I loved trying new foods and remember my first tastes of raw oysters on the half shell, sea conch soup, a real Ruben sandwich, and on and on.

I started working around 16 and saved my money and started going on solo trips. I do appreciate that my parents let me fly, take the car or ride a train solo throughout high school. As long as I checked in, paid for it myself and didn’t have any problems, I was allowed to keep doing these trips.

When I reached college and needed to pick a career, I knew I loved to travel. I tried to come up with a career where someone else would pay for me to travel the world. I wanted to see it all. So Political Science with a concentration in International Relations seemed the most likely. During college, I got to study abroad in France and did a humanitarian trip to Honduras. Immediately following graduation, I headed to Europe and backpacked for three months and went to 15 countries. My wanderlust has only grown and spread since then.

When I take a moment to slow down and appreciate my life, I feel so spoiled. I live in Belgium. Last week, I spent part of it in Italy, and now I’m on a plane to the US for a few days. It never gets old. Even returning to the same races or same places doesn’t feel redundant. I get excited about a little reflection of familiarity that’s mixed in with the hope of a new restaurant or adventure.

One day this will all slow down, and I want to be a place that I embrace that when it happens. Until then, I’m going to go big and always say yes to the extra glass of local dessert Sicilian wine that the waiter tells me I must try or extend one of my work travels by a day or two (which rarely happens but I aim to do it when I can!) to wander around and explore. More is more.

Smarter, Not Harder

Back in February when I wrote out my six month goals, one of them was to work smarter, not harder or longer. Today at Milan- San Remo was a perfect example of putting that into action.  

This is the longest one-day race of the year and that played a major decision into how I organized my time and planned my approach. Additionally, it's probably the biggest single day for the team of the year. So my race aim was to maximize that potential and I managed to do it in the easiest way possible. To be honest, this was by far my easiest (and favorite) Milan-San Remo to date.  

In the past, I drove the many hours from Milan to San Remo. After the race, I drove again to Nice. This meant I spent probably 6-7 hours in the car driving stressful Italian roads. I was exhausted by the end and far from the sharpest me. 

This year, I split up duties and assigned tasks to other people. Basically, the thought was 'how can they support me from afar?' I simply left from the start and drove 30 minutes to a decent but basic airport hotel that had solid wifi. I was able to be productive from start to finish. No time was lost driving a car or fighting with Italian wifi and I feel I was able to achieve even more professionally.  

Little pat on my back for thinking outside of the box and figuring out ways to be smarter. And now sleep. Super early tomorrow, I'm hopping on a plane for the USA.  

Milan-San Remo Monday

This week is full gas; one of those weeks that the whole calendar is based off of. I knew all weekend today would be big; I woke up this morning feeling blah, feeling overwhelmed. I felt like my to-do list was so long that it couldn't be tackled. I felt defeated before starting. And it was only 7:30 am. 

I spent the weekend thinking about this. I knew feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and buried wasn't how I wanted to start the week. I tried to avoid it and here it was. So I took a few moments to slow down and make the conscious decision to approach everything better.

instead of feeling buried by that massive to-do list, I told myself I would get it done. I'm not lazy and checking boxes would be enough. There was no need to approach it like it was anything bigger than a list. Step-by-step. 

But more importantly, I decided to find a happy, positive and good mental place to approach it all from. Instead of being buried, I tackled it.  

Guess what. It's after 10:30 pm and I worked until now. I never saw this coming. But I'm okay. It was all for the greater good and I'm excited about things to come. I smiled throughout the day, grabbed moments where I could and basically just went with things. Do I want to work this late? No. I have pretty strict boundaries I try to keep. Yet sometimes it's worth it and for the next two weeks, this might be more my norm than my exception. If I can keep approaching it from a positive, calm place, I feel pretty confident I can weather it (there better be some relaxing at the end of this!!!!) 

Con Brio!!! 

Aligning on Abundance

Aligning on abundance, say what?! Those seem just like funny words strung together. But it's actually a mindset I try to focus on. It doesn't mean having the most money in the world or owning a closet full of shoes, it is more a broader mentality that I try to approach life with. Something more like focusing your aims and intentions on garnering life's riches.

For the last week, maybe longer, I've sort of lost that path. I think it was clear in my writing that I was in a more negative place than I like to be. I don't think that's any one person or thing's fault, I actually take all that responsibility on myself. For the past week or so, I simply focused on doing and acting for other people. Sure, at times I thought about, "what do I need or want" but that was pretty rare and I feel that was a universal fault of mine. I'm happier and everyone else is happier when decisions are made from that positive place of "what do I need or want".

Today, I slowed down and tackled the day with that intention. Sure, I still worked probably 6-8 hours. But I also stopped by and saw a friend, got out for a 7-kilometer walk, snuck in some yoga and made a dinner that fed my soul (white bean soup and grilled salmon salad). The reason that I was able to get myself to a happier place was that I tried to make decisions based on what would bring me the most joy and happiness. "What do I need or what"?

It might be strange for some, but my work brings me such joy and happiness. I absolutely adore my job and even more so, I love my riders and this unique project. We are at a big race in Italy and they are riding like rockstars. I love being able to showcase that. Most people wouldn't want to work on a Saturday, but I have so many goals I want to achieve professionally for this project this year, that it means I want to work on a Saturday. And most likely another full day again tomorrow on a Sunday. I want to know that I'm putting in all the effort that I can to help us succeed.

This shift in mentality was greater than just work. I also decided it was time to let go of the whole pre-surgery weight battle. Every year, my happiest weight, confidence, and food times are around the US races--Tour of California, Utah and Colorado. Today, I tried to figure out why and a large part of it is just being back in the States and having familiar foods. But it's also greater than that. When I'm in the US, I let myself enjoy because I know I'm not going to get tacos, roasted hatch chilies or a local California pinot again anytime soon. I prioritize the good things and somehow everything else falls into place. It dawned on me today that maybe I should prioritize the good things, live life now as if it was where I wanted it to be and then simply see what happens? No more focusing on the I shouldn't or I can't have or do...yet also taking a moment when making decisions to ensure they are the right ones. Not just blindly doing this. That's why the US model works--I know to appreciate.

Life has taught me that focusing on the good things won't let you down....so why not focus on an abundance of good things? And let's see where this leads.....

Tomorrow: March 10th

Tomorrow is an incredibly important day for my life, my career, sort of my everything. The date has been looming for nearly three months and a lot of things come down to a decision. This has nothing to do with my team nor my employer. More the country I live in.

Basically, send me super good wishes and warm thoughts from tonight through tomorrow afternoon Euro time. Hopefully, I'll have a joyful and gleeful post tomorrow evening that'll be a bit more informative. 

Too Tired

Too tired and too late to post something. I'm waking up at 6am to get a few hours of work in before my sister gets up. That way we have some free time together before working again through the afternoon. Leaves me exhausted but eager for tomorrow.  So now I zzzzzz.....

Feeling Wrecked

I’m wrecked today. Similar to the travel out to Abu Dhabi, the travel back has left me spent. I get frustrated with myself when I’m this tired. I don’t want to slow down; I don’t want to take a day off from working out. But my body is so tired. I’m achy and sore in a way that doesn’t even make sense.

Mentally, I’m shot. I think I’m firing at less than 75%, which makes me concerned about the quality of work I’m putting out. This is all a great example that relates to yesterday’s post when I said that business works during the week. I can’t take today off to recharge like I need to because there is too much work that needs to get done. I'm not complaining; this simply is how it is. There was a fair amount of regular work that I put off while I was in Abu Dhabi. When I’m at a race, I do triage and only deal with the things that are critical. This means I always come home to a backlog of work I need to tackle.  

It’s crazy what complete exhaustion feels like. Looking back, I can understand that waking up at 6 am and working until 11 pm for 10 days caught up with me. I shouldn’t be surprised or frustrated with myself. Right now, the best use of my time is finding ways to recharge and recover. Today that might mean not working out and not getting my 12,500 steps. Already, I let myself work from the couch instead of sitting at my desk. As soon as I can stop working, I’m going to watch TV, maybe take a bath, eat an awesome dinner and see if I can make it until 8:30 pm to climb into bed. If I do all the right things today, I’m hoping I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling a little more renewed and with enough energy to truly tackle the day.

Being the Biggest Adult

I'm sure shifting into being a real adult is more recognizable for people who are raising children, but the fact I'm typically the main, 'real' adult keeps catching me off guard. 

When situations go astray, like when my flight to Italy on Sunday was rerouted to a different airport and all the taxis were on strike, my first reaction was to look around for someone to solve the problem. Then it dawned on me that I was the biggest adult and I needed to figure out getting a rider and myself across Milan and quickly.

I've had a variety of these scenarios over the years traveling with athletes. Their duties are to perform in a race. For the staff, we each have our own roles and responsibilities, but at the end of the day, our jobs include making life as easy as possible for the riders. 

This means problem-solving on the fly, often in foreign languages and with limited knowledge of the area. While my first reaction when problems arise is to look around hoping that someone more senior than me is around, I've learned things always work it. It might not be pretty, you'll probably be exhausted and need a few glasses of wine, and it will cost something, but things always work out. And humans are much friendlier, kinder and more helpful than we give them credit. More times than not, random strangers help. 

Remembering that helped me stay calm while trying to navigate across Milan late at night without any clue as to what was going on. And guess what....it all worked out.

Heading Back to the UAE

On Sunday, I head back to this UAE for another 10 days. This time, I'll be in Abu Dhabi, which is somewhere I've never been before. I could be wrong, but I'm heading in with the assumption that Abu Dhabi is very much like Dubai---hot, dry, (hopefully no sandstorms), luxury hotels and extremely expensive. 

My hotel room was absolutely amazing in Dubai but our hotel food left much to be desired. It was boring, redundant and featured none of the foods you'd want in the Mideast--hummus, olives, etc. Eating out wasn't a real option because everything was so insanely expensive. Instead, it was all race buffet. Breakfast was 2 to 3 hardboiled eggs and that was it. Lunch proved to be impossible to eat gluten and dairy free and they kept throwing in peanuts to really keep me on my toes.

I don't really want to be traveling with this much food (added weight) but I also want to stay on my good eating habits. It is going to be redundant but at least I'm prepared. I'm really not that excited to eat a can of tunafish every.single.day but I don't know how else to travel with protein and not completely survive on bars and powder.

In addition to the above (that's Julian Bakery Vanilla Nut powder, which I ADORE), I'll throw in some Julian Bakery bars, RXbars, coconut milk powder and hopefully some true lemon and true lime packets if I can track them down in Belgium. I'm planning on race buffet dinner being fine, so all this is to just supplement breakfast, lunch and snacks. I'm hoping there will be fresh cut veggies and salad that I can steal in the evenings to make snacks for the next day. Just need to remember to pack some sort of tupperware.

Hopefully, my bag won't weigh too much.....this is a bit ridiculous.

Recovery Week

I'm home and that makes me happy. I've tried to approach this week with recovery and focus. Work is extremely busy right now but it is a long season and I know it is up to me to avoid burnout. I can't afford to burn out or hit the wall, so I'm trying to do little things every day to stay healthy and happy.

Journaling. Every morning when I wake up, I write in the Five-Minute Journal. I do it again when I head to bed. Doing this consistently means I can spot patterns, both positive and negative ones, and then come up with game plans to compensate. One thing I noticed was that I kept feeling like I lost track of the day with all the emails and work. So I changed how I approached my day. This week, I only do emails and random work tasks for the first hour, then I focus on specific projects for the next few hours, and finally I close the day with more emails. It seems to be helping.

Meditating. When the New Year kicked off, my life was incredibly stressful. I felt like I was drowning in work and it started to bleed into all parts of my life. I have used Headspace off and on for a few years and I decided I needed to prioritize daily meditation to become calmer. After doing it every day for three weeks, I began to notice a marked difference in how my brain worked. I have more control over thoughts and emotions and that's huge.  I've now done over 6 weeks straight and I'm loving it.

Getting outside. Even in the Belgian rain, I'm making myself take a lunch break and go for a walk. I listen to a podcast (currently listening to the Tim Ferriss Show or the Lively Show a lot) and make myself stop thinking about work. It means I'm more focused and efficient in my afternoon.

Stopping work between 5-6pm. I work on a global project and our headquarters is in Atlanta, Georgia. This means their 5pm is 11pm for me. People kept emailing, calling and whatsapping all evening long. It wasn't healthy and meant I never disconnected. Now, unless it is vital or an emergency, I'm getting better at not responding. It also trains other people to be more aware of the time zone difference.

No more dieting. I've been on a diet for months, ever since the foot surgery. I can't lose the weight I gained. I went over a month of not eating any treats and basically only eating salads. I increased my workouts significantly. I focused on drinking water. I upped my step count to 12,500. Guess what happened. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Maybe it is all the work stress and my body still recovering from the bone damage from the surgery, but whatever is happening isn't related to calories. It doesn't matter how few or many I eat, my body stays the exact same weight. So for this week, I decided I didn't care. I would focus on working out and eating healthy, but that's it. No more obsessing.

I'll be home this weekend and it's the first weekend or day off that I've had since the first of January. I desperately need it and look forward to being lazy and catching up on brainless TV and maybe even reading a book.

A Week in Limbo

I arrived home last Sunday and knew I was leaving Saturday. It’s always an awkward adjustment when you already know you leave so soon. I don’t feel home, but I don’t feel anywhere else. It is strange, off-putting and probably a huge reason why I never got around to grocery shoppin

While I ate delivery or take out basically every night (and one night I just ate a bag of potato chips), I still tried to prioritize me and grabbed a few moments before racing begins, and I lose nearly all resemblance of a private, ‘normal’ life.

Every morning, even if I was waking up at 6:15 am, I stayed in bed for a few extras moments to simply enjoy it. While I get to stay in some lovely hotels, nowhere is as good as my own bed. So, I’d stay in bed and read through the news, a quick glance at Instagram, journal and then do a 10-minute Headspace meditation session. Grabbing this me time meant I felt centered and calm before checking my email and the craziness began. I also tried to work out daily.

The Roommate strongly encouraged (left cash on the table before he left) getting a massage. A new place opened near the apartment, so I had no excuse. I escaped over lunch and had one of the best sports massages in years. It was one of those grit your teeth, but it felt so good types of massages. I spend a lot of time folded into small airplane seats, driving a car or sitting in front of a computer. My body and head are better when I get into a routine of body work, and I’m going to try and prioritize a monthly massage. Biweekly if I’m home. 

I even made it to the movies one night with a girlfriend and saw LaLaLand. I liked it, truly enjoyed certain moments, but it wasn’t the best thing I’d ever seen.

The week was full gas, full gas, full gas. I was working 12-15 hour days all week, so on Saturday; I tried to get basic life back in order before hitting the road that afternoon. Trash, downloading movies, paying bills and cleaning up for when the roommate passes back through.

I'm in route to Dubai--a wonderful race with great weather, an amazing hotel, and a solid race buffet. I like starting the season this way.

No Internet at Training Camp

I didn't mean to disappear! I actually tried as hard as I could to put something up here, but the powers that be in Spain overruled me. While in Spain, we got hit by apparently the storm of the century. There were massive power outages, rain, leaks, everything. We had snow, massive amounts of rain and galeforce winds. This meant that the Internet and Wifi were down for the whole area for days. 

The 10-day training camp started so well. Sunshine and sunglasses. Little did I know that all of that was about to disappear.

While I couldn't post, more importantly, I couldn't work. I'm now paying for it. I got home late Sunday night with the plan to take Monday off after 10 days of working 12-15 hour days. I almost laugh at the thought I could take Monday off. Instead, I'm still scrambling trying to make up for all those lost days without Internet.

Looking forward, life is about to get crazy. It already is crazy. I'm both scared and excited at the same time for what is to come.

Stay tuned....it's going to be a big year!