Bouncing Back

I'm alive, I'm human, and I feel motivated and energized. Today's been full gas from the start, but at least physically I had the energy to take it as it comes. I've had a day chocked full of conference calls, a lunch meeting and work.work.work. Much of this is because I put things off all week due to travel and sheer exhaustion. It all caught up with me today.

It seems like slowing down yesterday was the wise move. I did crawl into bed last night and look at my Fitbit and think, "I really should have gotten out and walked yesterday." Mentally, slowing down isn't my strongest skill. But I slept for about 10 1/2 hours (WHAT?!) and woke up without an alarm this morning feeling much better. Able to actually tackle the day, which I think would have been impossible if I didn't take yesterday so easy.

Today, I keep trying to find time to squeeze in a workout or to go for a walk, but that hasn't happened yet, and the sun will set soon. So instead of writing more, I'm going to lace up my sneakers, download a podcast and get the first bit of movement and fresh air since Sunday.

Feeling Wrecked

I’m wrecked today. Similar to the travel out to Abu Dhabi, the travel back has left me spent. I get frustrated with myself when I’m this tired. I don’t want to slow down; I don’t want to take a day off from working out. But my body is so tired. I’m achy and sore in a way that doesn’t even make sense.

Mentally, I’m shot. I think I’m firing at less than 75%, which makes me concerned about the quality of work I’m putting out. This is all a great example that relates to yesterday’s post when I said that business works during the week. I can’t take today off to recharge like I need to because there is too much work that needs to get done. I'm not complaining; this simply is how it is. There was a fair amount of regular work that I put off while I was in Abu Dhabi. When I’m at a race, I do triage and only deal with the things that are critical. This means I always come home to a backlog of work I need to tackle.  

It’s crazy what complete exhaustion feels like. Looking back, I can understand that waking up at 6 am and working until 11 pm for 10 days caught up with me. I shouldn’t be surprised or frustrated with myself. Right now, the best use of my time is finding ways to recharge and recover. Today that might mean not working out and not getting my 12,500 steps. Already, I let myself work from the couch instead of sitting at my desk. As soon as I can stop working, I’m going to watch TV, maybe take a bath, eat an awesome dinner and see if I can make it until 8:30 pm to climb into bed. If I do all the right things today, I’m hoping I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling a little more renewed and with enough energy to truly tackle the day.

Recovery Week

I'm home and that makes me happy. I've tried to approach this week with recovery and focus. Work is extremely busy right now but it is a long season and I know it is up to me to avoid burnout. I can't afford to burn out or hit the wall, so I'm trying to do little things every day to stay healthy and happy.

Journaling. Every morning when I wake up, I write in the Five-Minute Journal. I do it again when I head to bed. Doing this consistently means I can spot patterns, both positive and negative ones, and then come up with game plans to compensate. One thing I noticed was that I kept feeling like I lost track of the day with all the emails and work. So I changed how I approached my day. This week, I only do emails and random work tasks for the first hour, then I focus on specific projects for the next few hours, and finally I close the day with more emails. It seems to be helping.

Meditating. When the New Year kicked off, my life was incredibly stressful. I felt like I was drowning in work and it started to bleed into all parts of my life. I have used Headspace off and on for a few years and I decided I needed to prioritize daily meditation to become calmer. After doing it every day for three weeks, I began to notice a marked difference in how my brain worked. I have more control over thoughts and emotions and that's huge.  I've now done over 6 weeks straight and I'm loving it.

Getting outside. Even in the Belgian rain, I'm making myself take a lunch break and go for a walk. I listen to a podcast (currently listening to the Tim Ferriss Show or the Lively Show a lot) and make myself stop thinking about work. It means I'm more focused and efficient in my afternoon.

Stopping work between 5-6pm. I work on a global project and our headquarters is in Atlanta, Georgia. This means their 5pm is 11pm for me. People kept emailing, calling and whatsapping all evening long. It wasn't healthy and meant I never disconnected. Now, unless it is vital or an emergency, I'm getting better at not responding. It also trains other people to be more aware of the time zone difference.

No more dieting. I've been on a diet for months, ever since the foot surgery. I can't lose the weight I gained. I went over a month of not eating any treats and basically only eating salads. I increased my workouts significantly. I focused on drinking water. I upped my step count to 12,500. Guess what happened. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Maybe it is all the work stress and my body still recovering from the bone damage from the surgery, but whatever is happening isn't related to calories. It doesn't matter how few or many I eat, my body stays the exact same weight. So for this week, I decided I didn't care. I would focus on working out and eating healthy, but that's it. No more obsessing.

I'll be home this weekend and it's the first weekend or day off that I've had since the first of January. I desperately need it and look forward to being lazy and catching up on brainless TV and maybe even reading a book.

Foot Surgery - 3 Months Post-Op

On December 28th, I went in for my three-month post surgery appointment. It both seems like FOREVER ago and so super recently that I had my surgery. All went smoothly with the doctor and he told me that I'll continue to have swelling and pain for another three months and that the stiffness should start to decrease. He seemed pleased with my range of motion and told me that I don't need to come back in unless I have a new issue. All great news.

• Surgery story
• Three-days post-op update
• 12-days post-op update
• One month post-op update

My scar is now nearly invisible. I'm so amazed and impressed with my surgeon. 

My approach to the foot surgery is a little unique because all medical input shows that I'll need it again on my other (right) foot eventually. So throughout this, I've used my left foot as an assessment for when (or if) I'll get it done to the other foot.

The past week or so has actually been really tough on my surgery foot. It has felt very stiff and the pain and swelling have increased. I think this is due to the change in temperatures and dampness outside. I notice my foot doesn't adjust to changes such as cold/warm/cold very well and it simply refuses to bend properly. Again, my doctor has said all of this is completely normal.

Also, I still can't wear most of my shoes. I have a few pairs of Josef Seibel's and a pair of Uggs (with absolutely zero support) that work but it is really limited to basically a pair of ankle boots and my Altra Provision 3.0. This is one of my biggest annoyances so I decided to invest in two new pairs of Josef Seibel's: a knee-high boot and another pair of ankle boots. Josef Seibel's have proven to be the best shoe out there that fits my foot, offers plenty of support and holds up to the wear-and-tear of being worn every.single.day. Now if they'd only hurry up and arrive!

As for the right foot, I try to use the pain and discomfort of my left foot as a metric. My right foot definitely hurts. It increases in discomfort with this weather, but it still isn't as bad as my left foot yet. Maybe it'll never get there, which would be fantastic. I'm in no hurry to go through this surgery again.

Snapshots from a Day in my Life

Instead of writing another post about my foot, I figured a day of photos might be slightly more entertaining. Another low-key, maybe even a little boring day, while I focus on recovering and building back up energy for some upcoming travel.

Little cold in the apartment when I woke up. A hoodie and cup of coffee asap.

Breakfast of fruit, yogurt and a little sunflower butter.

Morning of work, mainly prepping for my upcoming trips to Japan and China.

Lunchtime yoga session.

Quick FieldDay Coconut Bar counted as my lunch I headed out the door for physical therapy.

The walk to and from physical therapy served as my workout for the day. No crutches and only a boot felt like a major success!

Session of someone bending my toe back and forth. I'm not a real fan of this physical therapy. Put simply, it hurts and is boring.

Finally headed for a MUCH, MUCH needed haircut (it's been five months!)

First Belgian haircut in probably four years. I've been too scarred from the last hack job. I was very pleased by this trim and minor addition of side bangs.

Mailed my absentee ballot in before the deadline.

Fantastic dinner of chicken, avocado, bacon sandwich on gluten-free bread with a chipotle mayo. Side of homemade oven cooked fries and a organic tomato soup (which I was too full to eat).

I'll dream of this awesome sandwich for awhile. Perfection.