Foot Surgery - 3 Months Post-Op

On December 28th, I went in for my three-month post surgery appointment. It both seems like FOREVER ago and so super recently that I had my surgery. All went smoothly with the doctor and he told me that I'll continue to have swelling and pain for another three months and that the stiffness should start to decrease. He seemed pleased with my range of motion and told me that I don't need to come back in unless I have a new issue. All great news.

• Surgery story
• Three-days post-op update
• 12-days post-op update
• One month post-op update

My scar is now nearly invisible. I'm so amazed and impressed with my surgeon. 

My approach to the foot surgery is a little unique because all medical input shows that I'll need it again on my other (right) foot eventually. So throughout this, I've used my left foot as an assessment for when (or if) I'll get it done to the other foot.

The past week or so has actually been really tough on my surgery foot. It has felt very stiff and the pain and swelling have increased. I think this is due to the change in temperatures and dampness outside. I notice my foot doesn't adjust to changes such as cold/warm/cold very well and it simply refuses to bend properly. Again, my doctor has said all of this is completely normal.

Also, I still can't wear most of my shoes. I have a few pairs of Josef Seibel's and a pair of Uggs (with absolutely zero support) that work but it is really limited to basically a pair of ankle boots and my Altra Provision 3.0. This is one of my biggest annoyances so I decided to invest in two new pairs of Josef Seibel's: a knee-high boot and another pair of ankle boots. Josef Seibel's have proven to be the best shoe out there that fits my foot, offers plenty of support and holds up to the wear-and-tear of being worn every.single.day. Now if they'd only hurry up and arrive!

As for the right foot, I try to use the pain and discomfort of my left foot as a metric. My right foot definitely hurts. It increases in discomfort with this weather, but it still isn't as bad as my left foot yet. Maybe it'll never get there, which would be fantastic. I'm in no hurry to go through this surgery again.

Feeling Frustrated and too self absorbed

I haven't posted much this week despite aiming to do it every.single.day. I couldn't exactly put my finger on the reason. I've been super stressed about work this week, which definitely hasn't helped but I don't think that is specifically the cause. 

A lot of the reason is juggling life. In addition to work being full gas, I had to submit a massive binder worth of documents into the Belgian government yesterday. It took a month worth of daily effort, working (and paying a very pretty penny) to a Belgian bookkeeper and simply persevering through a language I'm far from fluent in. And at the end of all of this, I have no idea if they'll extend my visa. I hope they will, I believe they will, but really I have no idea. Also, I don't know how long it'll take them to get me an answer. My current visa expires in February so hopefully, I'll have an answer before time gets tight.

Then there are a lot of little things adding up -- one that stands out is trying to figure out Obamacare for next year (I've loved the Belgian system and now with Trump president, who knows if Obamacare will even exist, especially for those of us with pre-existing conditions). I feel fortunate I have an alternative but I would love to stop spending $500 a month for a US insurance that I don't really use. The only reason I do it is I'm terrified I'll get really hurt or sick and need to go back to the States. Wish I had a crystal ball which could tell me what was the right decision.

And the last stress might just be the most vapid and vain and it's the biggest one. I've been basically obsessed with losing my surgery weight. I'm not eating carbs, trying to eat as little as possible, drinking a ton of water, walking all.day.long, lifting, doing yoga, etc.etc.etc. It isn't budging. I head to Hawaii in a little over 10 days and I would like to feel more confident about myself. Sadly, I bought bathing suits months ago that I don't think are going to get worn. And I don't know what else I can. 

I know my weight fluctuation isn't huge and I'm still a fit, healthy woman. I get this shouldn't fall under the "important" column but I'll admit I'm obsessed. And turning into a fairly awful human because of it. Hungry Fitzalan isn't a pretty sight. Hungry, stressed Fitzalan is a full on nightmare.

Maybe I'm so obsessed because I feel like my weight is the one thing I should be able to completely control. Vapid, yes. Frustrating, yes. Is it adding to an overall unhappiness right now? Definitely. Now I just need to figure out how to climb back out of here because it isn't fair to me or any of the other people who have to interact with me. 

One Month Post-op Update

I had my second post-op doctor appointment yesterday since having foot surgery a little over a month ago. To tell you the truth, it hasn't gone as well as I'd like for the past week. While the foot held up well in Japan, it went down hill when I got home: increased swelling, pain and felt super hot. All the signs that healing had stopped. I was actually going backward.  My physical therapist first put me back in the boot but the foot kept getting worse, so then I was put back on crutches. 

These steps backward were super frustrating. Being stuck on the sofa with my leg elevated all day was hard to handle. I'm ready to be working out, moving freely, feeling normal. To me, I felt like I was being lazy and I didn't enjoy needing someone else to help me with lots of basic tasks. I was annoyed edging on bitter.

Fortunately, I had a doctor's appointment before heading off to China. I knew talking to him would help put me at ease. After a super long wait, the doctor walked in, checked out the foot and said it was healing wonderfully. I told him I had been put back in the boot and was so frustrated by the pain, swelling, etc. He looked at me and said, "Welcome to your next six months of life. This is completely normal and is going to happen again and again and again." 

He stressed icing and elevating when it flared and maybe going back in the boot and taking it easy, but when it calmed down, I should lead as normal of a life as possible. This news was so reassuring. I can handle pain. I can push through pain. And those are often my problems because I'm willing to ignore signs that something is wrong because I'm stubborn. It was nice to get the green light to behave this way and know I wasn't going to jeopardize the success of the surgery.

So this morning, I set off for Beijing. It's a short trip but I'm taking the boot. If I can switch into shoes, I will, but I figure China isn't the place where I need to be pushing it. I also have ice packs and will get ice on the plane, similar to last week's trip to Japan.

If you see someone limping through the Amsterdam airport later today, just give me a little extra space. Travel and people's lack of respect for personal space starts to sketch me out a bit when traveling with this tender foot of mine.

Eastward Travels to Japan

I've been spoiled for the past few weeks, even months, without having to wake up early. Following surgery, I let my body sleep as much as it needed and this really ranged from day to day. When the alarm went off at 6:30am yesterday, it was a little shock to the system. Fortunately, a hot shower and espresso got me in gear quickly, or so I thought....

I walked over to my tram station and got on my normal tram to the train station. Sadly, there is major construction and detours going on with Gent's public transportation and I ended up going in the complete wrong direction. I got off and had to hobble, a little faster than my foot would have liked, over to a different tram stop and then was properly under way. Luckily, I've learned many times that things can go wrong with Belgian public transportation, so I always build in a huge time cushion.

A quick Starbucks at the train station and I was on my way to Zaventem (Brussels airport). Ran into some friends from another team at the airport who were heading to the Tour of Hainan; it was nice to catch back up with work friends after not traveling for nearly two months. I had a short flight from Brussels to Amsterdam and then had to wait in maybe the longest immigration line to date while transferring through Amsterdam.

I headed straight to the KLM (Skyteam) lounge with hopes that I could use points/pay to upgrade to business class. I've been concerned about flying this far with my foot and thought a lay-flat bed couldn't hurt. I asked and the woman sadly told me that she had sold it just 10 minutes before. I was bummed but figured I shouldn't give up so easy. I sat down and did some work until it was basically time to board, then I reapproached her and asked if anyone in business hadn't made the flight. To my surprise, she said yes! We processed the transaction as quickly as possible and hobbled super fast to the gate as it was finishing boarding.

Flight attendants on KLM and Delta are always amazing and this flight was no different. I asked for ice for my foot and the flight attendant took amazing care of me from that point forward, continuously bringing me bags of ice wrapped in a towel. Super amazing service. They also made me a gluten free plate of food (no soy sauce, no miso, no tempura, etc), which was above and beyond my expectations. Sadly, I didn't sleep well though. My foot just hurt; there is no way around it. I wasn't comfortable no matter what I did.

We landed and I soon met up with a few riders from my team. We all grabbed much needed Starbucks and then started the journey to Utsunomiya, Japan. The Japan Cup is by far one of the best organized races in the world and everything flows seamlessly. We had a nice 10-passenger van for the 2.5 hour ride, where I proceeded to catch up on Teen Mom (one of my dirty little travel habits).

Since getting to the hotel, I ate a little food, iced my foot crawled into bed for a two-hour nap and then went out for an hour plus walk. My foot is still bothering me and I've been good about icing it. I'm glad to be back in sandals and not lace up shoes and hopefully it'll calm down if I take it easy for the rest of the day.