family

Sister Time

Interestingly enough, I had this title saved as a post back on December 9th but never wrote a word. It was the day after my birthday and the final full day of December training camp. I was heading out the next day to spend several days with my sister. Obviously, I never got around to writing that post. 

Growing up, I wouldn't call my sister, Abby, and I close. There are six years between us and at that point, those six years felt like decades. As the baby of the family, I simply saw her as a second mother.  She was responsible, organized and always followed the rules. I've always tended towards a more boyish energy, chaos, rough and tumble, and enamored by my older brothers. 

When I was around four years old, Abby, my brother Will, and I were in our beach house grabbing a box of crayons. My parents recently purchased a new washer and dryer, and we were allowed to make forts and color them. I don't remember the sound or the feeling when the lightning bolt struck the house. What I do remember is all the appliances going on-blenders, mixers, etc-and electric sockets shooting across the wall and smashing through the drywall on the other side. It was absolute chaos and we didn't even know that a fire started up above our heads.

What I do remember is Abby, who was around 10 years old, making my brother and I walk single file down the multiple flights of stairs. She took up the rear with no fear. In my mind, she was in complete control of the situation. Maybe she totally was; I've never asked. 

The rest of my childhood and teenage age years floated by without us ever being close. We were so different that there were rarely any battles over makeup, the TV or clothes and our schedules were off enough that I don't remember fighting over the bathroom despite the fact we shared one.

Without a doubt, my dad's death is what brought us together. My dad was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer in Spring 2005. He had no symptoms and was diagnosed after a routine colonoscopy. It was Stage IV, and he was given three months to live. He ended up living for 10 months, and during that time, the family rallied around him and each other. Regardless of distance or careers, we all came home frequently.

It was then that I remember noticing for the first time how much my sister and I saw ourselves as daddy's girls. He absolutely adored and cherished us, and we found a mutual bond in that. Through that period and beyond, we supported and comforted one another. I'm not sure if I would have made it through with as much grace and definitely wouldn't be as well adjusted without her. Maybe she feels the same; I've never asked.

This Wednesday, March 8th, serves as the 11th year anniversary since my dad died. Abby is here in Belgium with me and we get to toast his life and being his daughters together. I've never stopped missing him, and one thing I am absolutely positive about is that he would be so proud of the relationship my sister and I have cultivated and encouraged to prosper over the past decade+.

 

Sunday Funday

This is going to be brief but I'm staying true with my daily posts! It's been an incredibly lazy day. I stayed in bed until 10am, watched random TV until at least noon and then wandered around town for awhile. I had things on my to-do list and I basically ignored every single one. There is a part of me that's proud of that move because it's rare for me to turn off my Type A side.

My sister arrives from the US in the morning. She's only here until Friday morning yet I still have full-time, full-gas work. I was stressing when I thinking about juggling it all. 

Then I decided to change my approach. When people come visit me, I feel like I have to create the perfect holiday. It takes its toll on me and rarely leaves me happy. So for this trip, all that's out the window. Instead, I'm going to try and focus on making it an enjoyable week for me that gets to include my sister. I won't ignore all my needs in an attempt to make someone else happy. I've got a few plans in place to keep all the plates spinning (waking up extra early) but otherwise, I plan for us to decide our days together and just flow as it comes. I won't be acting like the tour guide and that takes so much pressure off me. 

So far, I haven't even vacuumed and mopped. Apparently what she sees is what she's getting when it comes to my life. And I'm fine with that. 

Traveling Adventures: Mixing in the Family

I consider myself a professional traveler. I spend at least 170 days a year in hotels, airplanes and on the move between work and some personal travel. After several years, you find a rhythm that allows you to excel in the movement. You learn to pack your suitcase a certain way so you notice if something were missing and aim to keep it as light as possible. This comes with all sorts of tips and tricks, especially as a female who enjoys looking fairly decent while typically not having access to laundry facilities.

family, travel, travel adventures, Europe, euro vacation, nephew, aunt, Gent, Belgium

When I travel with other people, they usually are coworkers or friends who also travel constantly. We all know how to do it fairly seamlessly. But then there are the trips where you travel with complete rookies, and that isn't always so easy. Earlier this month, I had the joy of traveling with my 70-year-old mother and 13-year-old nephew. It was a span of generations, energy levels and interests. I served as the de facto tour guide and planner, which was a role I think I both excelled and failed at in equal portions.

family, travel, travel adventures, Europe, euro vacation, nephew, aunt, Gent, Belgium

It's a juggle and an adjustment; one I might not always handle with grace. When you live on the road, you learn that the little details count. You double check for your cell phone or keys. You problem solve all day long and lean on others to assist with problems and logistical details. These details didn't come as second nature for my travel companions. It felt like they were scattering backpacks, cell phones, books, apartment keys and jackets across Europe. It was both amusing and worrisome.

family, travel, travel adventures, Europe, euro vacation, nephew, aunt,  France, Cherbourg, Tour de France

But all the troubles didn't fall on their shoulders. Unfairly, I expected them to slot in and help with details like reading a map to detour around a bike race, assist with navigating around the Champs-Élysées traffic circle from hell, searching for a gas station hidden in the belly of Paris' underground or being on the lookout for a parking spot in a crowded city. In the moment, I wasn't always able to understand why they couldn't have better travel skills. My annoyance and frustration weren't always well hidden, which maybe wasn't my finest showing. 

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My work life comes with a daily schedule. We get told what time to get up, when to eat breakfast, what time to pack our bags out, what time to depart, etc. etc. We receive this information the evening before and every day basically has the same flow. When I'm home by myself, I'm crave not having a set day. Yet, this trip was a strange mix of travel but on personal time. It needed both flow and structure. Being the pseudo-local, that fell on me.

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While I didn't always want to plan, it did mean that I got to see Europe through a whole new set of eyes. While I won't be a mother, I do have the opportunity to be an amazing aunt. And that experience was quite rewarding. My mom has been to Europe several times, but it was the first time my nephew had been on an airplane, left the country (and maybe tasted some bubbles). It was thrilling to show him different cultures and to walk back through history with him.

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It was also fantastic just getting to spend time with my nephew. It sometimes amazes me that I've known this human his whole life. And now he is old enough to be exploring Europe and letting me sneak sips of wine during a fancy meal. It gets me excited about who he will become and the adventures we get to have as he grows.

family, travel, travel adventures, Europe, euro vacation, nephew, aunt,  France, Cherbourg, Tour de France, Paris, bridge, seine

Hopefully this was just the first of many travel adventures he and I will get to have again. I love showing him that the world is so accessible. Now I just need to wait until my niece is old enough to bring over, but I know she'll be the one running circles around me. She's already a little spitfire.